Language Jokes

You know, I used to get a bit upset when Thais would pretend they didn't understand just because I got the tone wrong. Now I realize they weren't pretending. Using the wrong tone can get you into some funny situations. I've made the following jokes up to illustrate what I mean.

Joke 1:

A farang is walking around in Bangkok and notices a man with no arms and no legs on the sidewalk near a parked taxi. Feeling sorry for the man, he reaches for his wallet, pulls out twenty baht, and proceeds to hand it to the man. He says something to the man to which the man reacts angrily and refuses the twenty baht! The farang goes back home an talks to his Thai friend about the situation. His friend asks him: "what did you say to make him so angry?"

To which the farang replies, "all I said was "sawatdee kap [w/ low tone]."

Punchline: To say hello, you say "Sawatdee khap (high tone and slightly harsher k sound). However, a light "k" w/ a low tone (kap) means "drive"....so the man was telling the disabled person to drive!

Joke 2:

A farang wants to go to the other side of Bangkok and not knowing his way around much, figures catching a cab will be easier. After about two or three hours, he can't get a cab, and decides to go home. His friend sees him home and asks why he is back so early. "I couldn't catch a cab," he says, frustrated, "they all waved me off angrily."
His friend asks, "what did you ask them?"
The farang replies, "all I said was "Kor kee(falling tone) taxi noi khap."

Punchline: Kee (high tone) means to sit (in a taxi), whereas kee (falling tone) means "to defecate." No wonder the cab drivers refused!