Well, here's the thing. Is depression actually possible in Thailand? I'm currently broke and jobless, but for some reason, I don't feel the overwhelming hopelessness I did back in the United States. Maybe this is due to the fact that Thais in general don't take life too seriously. Why care about things that you cannot change? That said, I have not been updating this site recently, because I've been busy trying to find a job/ impress my bosses at this intern type thing I'm doing so I can get a paid position.
What irks me is that I have a high amount of skill for teaching. I've been at it for years. Besides English, I speak fluent German and I can also speak, read, write, and understand Thai to some degree. How many good-looking 25 year old Americans can schools find that know Thai as well? It certainly makes explaining the basics easier. If Thai teachers disagreed with this point, they wouldn't teach English using Thai 99 percent of the time.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Arrival in Thailand
I left Milwaukee, Wisconsin with anxiety disorder and a light jacket on (it was a balmy 50 degrees outside)in anticipation of arriving 20 odd hours later on the other side of the planet. There isn't much to say about my flight, other than I was lucky to be seated between nice people. I should add I had to connect in Detroit, Michigan, but that was a short flight from Milwaukee (across the lake). I was supposed to have a direct flight to Japan, but someone needed medical attention, so we had an hour layover in Edmonton, Canada. The flight to Japan was about 12 hours. I was quite impressed by the speed and efficiency of Narita airport. Then, I got on my flight to Bangkok. Now, I had a girlfriend back home at the time, but certainly I'd be blind not to notice how stunning the Thai flight attendants were. After another 6.5 hrs, I was in Bangkok. I went through Suvarnabuhmi rather easily and then stepped out into the Bangkok night air at around 11:30 p.m. Now, I'm used to that time of day being chillier. Well, it was the hottest month of the hot season (April)and chilly for Bangkok at that time is apparently mid 90s. If you've stood next to an oven after being in air con, you will understand what I felt when I walked outside. It was like walking into a sauna. I went to my hotel, learned Thai for "smoke a cigarette" was approached by hookers for a threesome, and tried to go to sleep, but the excitement of being in Bangkok made it so I could not sleep. So I stayed up, thinking how cool it was to be here.
Save Money - Learn to read Thai!
If you have ever been or are in Thailand and cannot read Thai script, quite possibly you took/take a taxi everywhere. Especially in Bangkok. However, now that I can read Thai, I save a boatload of cash by taking Song Taeos, vans, and busses. They are actually quite clearly marked - just not bilingual. So if you haven't already, learn to read the Thai alphabet so you can find your way around cheaply.
Learning Thai
OH NO...TONES!!!!!!!
I'm a bilingual English/German speaker and have learned the following languages with ease (although remembering them without use has proved somewhat different):
French, Portugese, Japanese, Finnish, Hungarian, Spanish, Italian, Czech, Russian, Slovak, Dutch, Latin, Hellenistic Greek, Icelandic, Hawaiian, and Middle High German.
However, Thai is the first tonal language I've ever learned. I remember trying to learn it in the USA before I came here. Nearly impossible. I couldn't come to terms with the script, and all I could remember before I left was how to say 'hello,' 'thank you,' and 'it was delicious.'
For me, though, once I started living here, I found the language to be quite easy. Without being immersed in it, it was impossible, but now that I can live it, it is quite simple. The script means something, as do the words. Now tones don't sound odd...they sound like different phonemes - very distinct.
I'm far from being fluent in Thai, but I'd say I'm certainly conversational now. I can read and write (even chat online) in Thai.
If anyone thinks a language is impossible - just find a way to make it alive like I did with Thai. You'll find yourself learning it easily, so long as you try.
I'm a bilingual English/German speaker and have learned the following languages with ease (although remembering them without use has proved somewhat different):
French, Portugese, Japanese, Finnish, Hungarian, Spanish, Italian, Czech, Russian, Slovak, Dutch, Latin, Hellenistic Greek, Icelandic, Hawaiian, and Middle High German.
However, Thai is the first tonal language I've ever learned. I remember trying to learn it in the USA before I came here. Nearly impossible. I couldn't come to terms with the script, and all I could remember before I left was how to say 'hello,' 'thank you,' and 'it was delicious.'
For me, though, once I started living here, I found the language to be quite easy. Without being immersed in it, it was impossible, but now that I can live it, it is quite simple. The script means something, as do the words. Now tones don't sound odd...they sound like different phonemes - very distinct.
I'm far from being fluent in Thai, but I'd say I'm certainly conversational now. I can read and write (even chat online) in Thai.
If anyone thinks a language is impossible - just find a way to make it alive like I did with Thai. You'll find yourself learning it easily, so long as you try.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Language Jokes
You know, I used to get a bit upset when Thais would pretend they didn't understand just because I got the tone wrong. Now I realize they weren't pretending. Using the wrong tone can get you into some funny situations. I've made the following jokes up to illustrate what I mean.
Joke 1:
A farang is walking around in Bangkok and notices a man with no arms and no legs on the sidewalk near a parked taxi. Feeling sorry for the man, he reaches for his wallet, pulls out twenty baht, and proceeds to hand it to the man. He says something to the man to which the man reacts angrily and refuses the twenty baht! The farang goes back home an talks to his Thai friend about the situation. His friend asks him: "what did you say to make him so angry?"
To which the farang replies, "all I said was "sawatdee kap [w/ low tone]."
Punchline: To say hello, you say "Sawatdee khap (high tone and slightly harsher k sound). However, a light "k" w/ a low tone (kap) means "drive"....so the man was telling the disabled person to drive!
Joke 2:
A farang wants to go to the other side of Bangkok and not knowing his way around much, figures catching a cab will be easier. After about two or three hours, he can't get a cab, and decides to go home. His friend sees him home and asks why he is back so early. "I couldn't catch a cab," he says, frustrated, "they all waved me off angrily."
His friend asks, "what did you ask them?"
The farang replies, "all I said was "Kor kee(falling tone) taxi noi khap."
Punchline: Kee (high tone) means to sit (in a taxi), whereas kee (falling tone) means "to defecate." No wonder the cab drivers refused!
Joke 1:
A farang is walking around in Bangkok and notices a man with no arms and no legs on the sidewalk near a parked taxi. Feeling sorry for the man, he reaches for his wallet, pulls out twenty baht, and proceeds to hand it to the man. He says something to the man to which the man reacts angrily and refuses the twenty baht! The farang goes back home an talks to his Thai friend about the situation. His friend asks him: "what did you say to make him so angry?"
To which the farang replies, "all I said was "sawatdee kap [w/ low tone]."
Punchline: To say hello, you say "Sawatdee khap (high tone and slightly harsher k sound). However, a light "k" w/ a low tone (kap) means "drive"....so the man was telling the disabled person to drive!
Joke 2:
A farang wants to go to the other side of Bangkok and not knowing his way around much, figures catching a cab will be easier. After about two or three hours, he can't get a cab, and decides to go home. His friend sees him home and asks why he is back so early. "I couldn't catch a cab," he says, frustrated, "they all waved me off angrily."
His friend asks, "what did you ask them?"
The farang replies, "all I said was "Kor kee(falling tone) taxi noi khap."
Punchline: Kee (high tone) means to sit (in a taxi), whereas kee (falling tone) means "to defecate." No wonder the cab drivers refused!
Slowwwwwwwwwwwwwww Down!!!
Something that can be a bit uncomfortable for the westerner on his or her first visit to Thailand is the pace of life. Compared to what we are used to, things are ungodly slow here. There are traffic jams at any hour of the day in Bangkok (except very late night-very early morning) and people walk like snails. This slowness extends to formal situations. If you are told to show up for a meeting at 9:00 a.m., expect the other party to show up at best five or ten minutes late.
If you are going for an interview, you should still be on time, just realize that your Thai counterpart probably will not be. However, don't be upset about the slowness, go with it. Don't be in such a hurry! I've been told to slow down bya Thai friend once. I asked as to why I should slow down and he replied that I look angry. I've heard this many times from different Thais. Walking fast makes us look angry. Now, everyone gets angry, but Thailand is a country in which the people mask their true emotions with a smile. Half the people you see on the street may be upset about something, but the general rule is not to advertise it.
I'm sure my stride is still faster than the average Thai, but it is much slower than when I first arrived. I have noticed that slowing down is more relaxing and that I get to where I'm going in not that much more time.
Also, don't try to hurry a Thai. Two things are going to happen. Either they won't help you at all, or most likely, you will be resented. Trust me, you do not want to be resented by the locals if you are trying to stay in a place. Impatience is a big no-no in Thailand. You need to be calm or as they say "jai-yen" (cool hearted).
If you are going for an interview, you should still be on time, just realize that your Thai counterpart probably will not be. However, don't be upset about the slowness, go with it. Don't be in such a hurry! I've been told to slow down bya Thai friend once. I asked as to why I should slow down and he replied that I look angry. I've heard this many times from different Thais. Walking fast makes us look angry. Now, everyone gets angry, but Thailand is a country in which the people mask their true emotions with a smile. Half the people you see on the street may be upset about something, but the general rule is not to advertise it.
I'm sure my stride is still faster than the average Thai, but it is much slower than when I first arrived. I have noticed that slowing down is more relaxing and that I get to where I'm going in not that much more time.
Also, don't try to hurry a Thai. Two things are going to happen. Either they won't help you at all, or most likely, you will be resented. Trust me, you do not want to be resented by the locals if you are trying to stay in a place. Impatience is a big no-no in Thailand. You need to be calm or as they say "jai-yen" (cool hearted).
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Western Men and Isaan Women
There is plenty out there on the internet about the dangers to western men of getting involved with a woman for Isaan. The standard assumption seems to be that she is or was a bar girl (or other sort of prostitute). Contrary to belief, not all women from Isaan that wish to date a western man are of a low calibre. Not even all low-educated women from Isaan are doing something of ill-repute. There are a great many that come to Bangkok or other large cities in search of honest work, as work in certain parts of Isaan are scarce to nil. Some things you should know, though, if you wish to date a woman from Isaan - in particular a poor one with little education:
1). Do not automatically trust her.
Now, although I say not all girls from Isaan are prostitutes, the fact is many are. You would be doing yourself a disservice if you gave her the benefit of the doubt. Ask as many questions as possible. Do not be satisfied with the answers the first time. Wait until she may have forgotten what she told you, then ask again and in a different way. If her answer is verbatim or has changed too much, you can suspect she is lying to you in some way. You should also keep tabs on her. This means knowing where she is and being sure she can be contacted by phone. If she tells you where she is, do a surprise visit. Keep doing this, until you are sure you can trust her. When that time comes can only be decided by you.
2). She will want money to send to her parents.
Understand that this is not part of hooker culture, but rather part of the culture of poor Thailand. Thais are extremely close to their families, and for poor families, not to send money back to their parents would be considered a deep insult. It would be tantamount to saying, "thanks for giving me everything when I was a child, now I don't need you, so f*** off." Women will have no problems asking you for money for their parents. Do not automatically assume they are basically asking you to pay for the relationship. Think of it this way:
they love their parents and want to help them, as it is part of their culture. They believe you love them and want to help them in any way. The thought of sending money to the folks is foreign and most often disagreeable to western men, but do not think too badly of it. It is simply a different culture - even if we don't agree with it.
3). She may not talk to you.
Often, girls from Isaan with limited education also have limited English. It is a good idea to learn some Thai, as all people from Isaan speak standard Thai. You may have times you feel she is ignoring you. This can be a problem especially when you have something important you wish to talk to her about and her silence seems suspicious. While there is the chance she is hiding something, keep in mind that she may simply not know how to say what she wants to in English. Losing face is considered one of the worst things that can happen to a person in Thailand. Being wrong is losing face. If you do not speak Thai, she will not bother to speak to you about it in Thai, as it would be rude to say something you won't understand, thereby causing you to lose face. As her English improves and your Thai improves, your conversations will get longer and she will talk to you more.
4). She talks to her friends more than you.
Sometimes, you may notice that it is hard to get a conversation going with your girlfriend. She may pretend she is tired and doesn't want to talk, but for whatever reason, she is silent. Yet, when she is with her friends, she is vibrant and chatty. Read the above, but to reiterate, it most likely is not about you, but about language. Her friends speak her language (often not simply Thai, but her dialect from home, as many women from Isaan come to larger cities with friends and family) and she is comfortably at home with the language.
5). Find out if she is with you for the money or for you.
Any sensible western man will want to make sure from the get-go that your woman is not with you for your pocketbook. The best way to do this is either actually be poor or feign poverty. If she leaves as soon as the cash stops flowing, then you can chalk it up to experience and move on. However, if she is working while you work, and continues to stay with you and work while you are in a transition period with little to no money flowing, there is something more to her about you than your money, and you are probably safe. Thai bar girls and the like looking for cash won't sit around and wait for you to make money. They will find someone who already has it. If they are a bar girl and still with you, there is a high probability they are hooking.
____________________________________________________________________
Understand that Isaan women are not attracted to western men solely because of money. In fact, this may not even be a factor. The fact is, unlike many Thai men (especially from Isaan), western men treat them like goddesses. By Thai standards, Isaan women are rather ugly, being shorter, with darker skin. However, it is exactly these exotic looks that attract western men to them. Also, western men are less likely to get drunk and beat them. Many women from Isaan have had a boyfriend prior to you that was Thai and oftentimes had an abusive relationship. They may be submissive, but they certainly don't like getting hit, and like that western men usually do not do such to them. Also, Thai men are notorious for cheating. Thai women, though they know it happens, do not like it - just what can they do? A chance to have a relationship with a man that will treat them right, think they are beautiful, and be devoted to them is something many women will not pass up. It also doesn't hurt that quite a few Thai women, Isaan or otherwise, are attracted to western men for our exotic looks (exotic works both ways)!
1). Do not automatically trust her.
Now, although I say not all girls from Isaan are prostitutes, the fact is many are. You would be doing yourself a disservice if you gave her the benefit of the doubt. Ask as many questions as possible. Do not be satisfied with the answers the first time. Wait until she may have forgotten what she told you, then ask again and in a different way. If her answer is verbatim or has changed too much, you can suspect she is lying to you in some way. You should also keep tabs on her. This means knowing where she is and being sure she can be contacted by phone. If she tells you where she is, do a surprise visit. Keep doing this, until you are sure you can trust her. When that time comes can only be decided by you.
2). She will want money to send to her parents.
Understand that this is not part of hooker culture, but rather part of the culture of poor Thailand. Thais are extremely close to their families, and for poor families, not to send money back to their parents would be considered a deep insult. It would be tantamount to saying, "thanks for giving me everything when I was a child, now I don't need you, so f*** off." Women will have no problems asking you for money for their parents. Do not automatically assume they are basically asking you to pay for the relationship. Think of it this way:
they love their parents and want to help them, as it is part of their culture. They believe you love them and want to help them in any way. The thought of sending money to the folks is foreign and most often disagreeable to western men, but do not think too badly of it. It is simply a different culture - even if we don't agree with it.
3). She may not talk to you.
Often, girls from Isaan with limited education also have limited English. It is a good idea to learn some Thai, as all people from Isaan speak standard Thai. You may have times you feel she is ignoring you. This can be a problem especially when you have something important you wish to talk to her about and her silence seems suspicious. While there is the chance she is hiding something, keep in mind that she may simply not know how to say what she wants to in English. Losing face is considered one of the worst things that can happen to a person in Thailand. Being wrong is losing face. If you do not speak Thai, she will not bother to speak to you about it in Thai, as it would be rude to say something you won't understand, thereby causing you to lose face. As her English improves and your Thai improves, your conversations will get longer and she will talk to you more.
4). She talks to her friends more than you.
Sometimes, you may notice that it is hard to get a conversation going with your girlfriend. She may pretend she is tired and doesn't want to talk, but for whatever reason, she is silent. Yet, when she is with her friends, she is vibrant and chatty. Read the above, but to reiterate, it most likely is not about you, but about language. Her friends speak her language (often not simply Thai, but her dialect from home, as many women from Isaan come to larger cities with friends and family) and she is comfortably at home with the language.
5). Find out if she is with you for the money or for you.
Any sensible western man will want to make sure from the get-go that your woman is not with you for your pocketbook. The best way to do this is either actually be poor or feign poverty. If she leaves as soon as the cash stops flowing, then you can chalk it up to experience and move on. However, if she is working while you work, and continues to stay with you and work while you are in a transition period with little to no money flowing, there is something more to her about you than your money, and you are probably safe. Thai bar girls and the like looking for cash won't sit around and wait for you to make money. They will find someone who already has it. If they are a bar girl and still with you, there is a high probability they are hooking.
____________________________________________________________________
Understand that Isaan women are not attracted to western men solely because of money. In fact, this may not even be a factor. The fact is, unlike many Thai men (especially from Isaan), western men treat them like goddesses. By Thai standards, Isaan women are rather ugly, being shorter, with darker skin. However, it is exactly these exotic looks that attract western men to them. Also, western men are less likely to get drunk and beat them. Many women from Isaan have had a boyfriend prior to you that was Thai and oftentimes had an abusive relationship. They may be submissive, but they certainly don't like getting hit, and like that western men usually do not do such to them. Also, Thai men are notorious for cheating. Thai women, though they know it happens, do not like it - just what can they do? A chance to have a relationship with a man that will treat them right, think they are beautiful, and be devoted to them is something many women will not pass up. It also doesn't hurt that quite a few Thai women, Isaan or otherwise, are attracted to western men for our exotic looks (exotic works both ways)!
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